wish you was there

we had a hell of a bash this weekend! good things are happenin and well be fillin ya in more as it comes along. but in summery, we moved out of the drake and are stayin at a farm in williamson county owned by a dude we met recently. we had a barn party of sorts. and we belted out some tunes like ya never herd before! check back with us and well tell ya more about wats up.

rock on !!!

reports of our death are exaggerated

yall prolly thout we gave up on our blogste didnt ya? lol

well weve been pretty busy. had the damnedest time tryin to get internet access. starbucks is too damn expensive for our taste. but here goes!

like we said weve been real busy but weve had a blast. shamus got a job changin tires but we didnt jump into anything. we finally took a job washin dishes just ta have some extra money.

we decided ta stick it up the ass of music city. lol we set up shop an started playin our guitar in the parkin lot of a cuple of radio stations. a lot of ppl came by to listen but someboyd called the cops and told us we were disterbin the piece so that didnt work out.

we did meet this dude who wanted us to come over to his place this weekend an meet his frends. there puttin a band togeter an wanted us to play our guitar with them. trouble with shamus is they didnt need a drummer but did want a bass player. he plays bass but perfers drums. well see. lol

rock on !!!

new kid in town

did we say our hotel was a shithole? just wanted to make sure. they defantely dont have merry maid service. the terlet got stopped up yesterday morn so shamus pissed in the sink. when we got back to the room last nite it still smelled like piss.

were gonna haveta start lookin for jobs. shamus can prolly get a job easy. hes a damn greasemonky by trade. but for ole johnny q it mite be a little harder. theres purity dairy a cuple of blocks from the motel and a mcds and bk rite next to each other down the other way. but thats our past. we came up here to get away from that shit. as nobama says ''change''.

its rained all week but we cracked open our guitar case on 2nd ave next to the hooters. did pretty good too. some assholes stiffed us but all in all the tourists were pretty good tippers. do this enouff an we prolly wont need a day job. lol

rock on !!!

livin the dream

sometimes when it looks like yer gettin screwed its prolly an open door to oppertunity.
we got our ass fired from the milk company a few weeks ago. wed been askin our buddy in nashvegas to hire us at his hotel. things were pretty fucked up coz we were lookin at unemployment and with no more choices. but the fact is sense our band swamp soup broke up, weve just been spinnin our wheels and not livin the dream. we got comftable workin 9-5 jobs,,,sittin in our own shit. a morning job slingin hash an a mid shfit drivin a milk truck. does that sound like a guitar player for a kickass band? we think not ether.

so we reached a epifany. birmingham is our home but it aint our future. so our buddy shamus sold his shit except for his drum kit an we sold our shit except for our guitar an laptop and packit it up for nashvegas!

weve been in an out of nashville ta play here and there and to see frends in the joints and even to see the titans play so we pretty much kno our way around. we got us a room at the drake motel on murfreesboro pike (where the stars stay) lol. its a shithole, but its cheap. when we say shithole we mean shithole. there were cumstains on one of the mattresses an the carpet. lol one of the ashtrays still had cig butts in it. plenty of bluelights flashin thru the windows at nite. on our first nite we got to see a couple in a braw. plenty of hookers walkin round too,,,the crackho kind.

anyways we hit the town. We stoped in at a stripjoint called deja vu on demonbreun. then we hit the honkytonks on broad. theres tourists an drunks walkin all around this area hopin to get there b4 it rains again. a lot of dudes playin there guitars for tips on the street corners up around broad and 2nd ave. looks like nashvegas is gonna be real sweet.

well keep ya posted. rock on !!!

for once we agree with nobama

we dont know if yall heard it or not but nobama made a 'off the record' comment yesterday bout kanye west and wat the motherfucker did to taylor swift. he called his ass a jackass. when yer rong, well call ya on it but when yer rite, ya desereve props when ya say or do somethin rite.

rock on !!!

kanye west interrupts nObama

were not surprised. that motherfucker is known fer lettin diarere run outta his mouth. an wat about that half assed aplogy he made to taylor swift on his blog? he can kiss our white ass.

rob zombies halloween 2 sucks out the ass

we went to see rob zombies halloween 2 tonite. all we can say is, well we have nothin to say except dont make another one. the halloween movies is completely fucked up now. after seein this movie with all the added extra things mainly the horse. wat the hell is that for. wy the hell does michel myers have ta grunt every damn time he takes a whack at someone now. wat is he gettin old? we wish we could say better luck next time motherfuckers, but instead we would just rather say give it up zombie. your no john carpenter. we may have been expectin maybe a little more with this film, but damn come on now. we guess we can all look forward to next year when the new freddy movie come out. hope we don't get our hopes to high for waitin to see a good movie. ya know we dont think we want to get disappointed again.

rock on !!!

the pearls of internet porn

hay its been a while sense we wrote yall motherfuckers bout porn sites. we wanted to write today bout the pearls of internet porn.

for the porn fan, theres somethin for everybody nowdays. ya just haveta know how to find it. some of those sites give ya thumbnails to what looks like somethin good an when ya click on it ti takes ya to another site with even more thumbnails. eventually ya get to a site that installs some damn tracker or popup that ya cant close without closin the browser completly.

ya dont got to spend $29.99 on some of those paysites though. if ya just click on the prevue thumbnail it gives ya a 20 - 30 sec prevue that will play in quicktime or media player. wat we do is simply loop the playback and if ya get the rite one, ya can play the loop of the video until ya have to clean yerself up. lol

redtube is good to. ya dont have ta pay there ether. just run it like youtube an ya got yerself somethin raunchy!!! hahaha

rock on !!!

nobama DID lie

wat the fuck? scare tatic after scare tatic with this guy theres never anything upbea tcomin gout of this guys big mouth the only thing ever coming out are scare tatics off the calcualtor numbers lies lies and more lies calling those who disagree with him childish names makin gthreats damn he is so depressing how can anyone support this guy is beyound beleive

rock on joe wilson! when the president lies to congress and the american ppl, he needs to be called out.

the laughin baby

a baby was just born. he had all his peaces an looked quiet normal, except he was laughin like crazy. we mean laughin real hard. an the doctors an nurses were examining the little thang, in front of the worried parents, but he kept on laughin, his tiny fists all closed and tears rollin from his eyes. one at a time, a pedeatrican unfolded the tiny fingers to check if the hands was all right, and... guess what he found? the birth control pill! hahahaha

our political views

we said earler that wed hilite our politcal views. well here they are in summery:

1. we beleve in small goverment. its too damn big as it is. they taker our taxes and give it out as wellfare and send it off to other countries. we think our goverment should take care of its own before it soves other ppls problems.

2. abortion. wat can ya say bout that? do ya want ta find out that some chick ya screwed last month got knocked up and ya have ta pay child support? i think that ansers that question.

3. gun control. leave our gus alone! the 2nd ammendment guarantees the right to bare arms. you try to break into our fuckin house or hurt our woman yall see if we beleve in the right to bare arms!!

4. the war. toby kieth said it best in his song curtesy of the red white and blue. ya mess with us motherfuckers ya shit out of luck. just dont make us fight em with our hands tied behind our backs. ya supposed to win a war not worry bout the enemys feelings.

5. legalizing weed. them motherfuckers just dont get it. there IS no war on drugs and there never gonna stop it. spendin all this money on ppl who smoke the shit insted of the criminle element bringin it ino our country. we say legalize it, tax the shit and let the farmers grow it. an then ya can get yer greedy hands outta our pockets!!

6. gay marriage. are ya kiddin us? watever ya want to do is yer busness, but point that thing someweres else. we dont want ta kno wat yer doin. screwin dudes now. pigs next.

7. ilegal alliens. kick the motherfuckers out. were tired hearin that mexican shit at every stoplite. changin our neborhoods into little mexico. we dont want ya here so get the hell out. cockroaches!

is politics in johnny q's future?

many people have asked us if were gettin into politics because of some of the things weve been wrtin about here in our blog and some on facebook. thats a good question an the anser is prolly not. we dont see ourself puttin up with city counsels, congress or such. if we did, itd prolly be county sherif or somethin like that.

were just exersising our rite to free speech whil we got it. but if ya want ta know our political views well be posting some more bout them in the folling days.

rock on !!!

happy birthday mr jesse!

well be out of pocket over the weekend. were goin to nashvegas to talk to our buddy about a gig at his hotel. but we wanted to take this oppertunitey to wish mr jesse a happy birhtday. hell be celebratin this mon and prolly raisin hell this weekend. hes a relly cool dude. been a good frend ta us dering dome hard times over teh last year. we hope ya have a good un, our little green frend.

rock on !!!

drinkin on the job? we dont think so!!!

hay, our superviser called our ass into work this mornin to cover this other dudes route that called out. it was 4am an he said the route started at 5am. our route donts start til 10am but we sait what the hell and came on in. the problem was is that we were drinkin like we usually do at nite. we aint workin a mornin job anymore so its our business ya know? well we showed up and he said we looked pickled and couldnt work like that. we said bullshit. we didnt even know he was gonna call us an what we do in our own homw in our off hours was our business. we asked him if he was gonna work us after callin our ass in early or did he want to run charlies route hisself.

guess what? he put our ass to work. we just hope we didnt mix the acidophouls up woth the 2 percent or the butter milk. his responsable if we did, ya know?

rock on !!!

the farmer an his wife

a farmer is lyin in bed with his wife an he turns to her grabs her tits and says "honey if you could get milk out of theas we could sell the cow". then he grabs her pussy an says "honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". she turns to him smiles,grabs his dick an says "honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother" lol

rock on !!!

saban aint no bear

we red in todays paper a artical askin if nick saban was the next bear bryant. that pisses us off.

were happy bama has a winning football coach but alabama is a proud university witha long traditon. we dont need to be "thanking our lucky stars saban chose to come to bama." he needs to be thankful the univeristy gave him a job!!! bama is one of the most prestegous football programs in history.

and to even draw any comparrisson to coach bryant after one 12-2 season at alabama is a bit presumtuous to say the lease. bama could go 6-7 this year.

rock on !!!

nissan commercial

somethin we herd bout stevie wonder

he nearly woar his fingers to the bone tryin ta read a cheese grater! lol

the doctor appt an the nite before

this dude wakes up from beein sleep, feeling real horny, awakes his wife an says, "hay why dont we get it on?" she says back to him, "i have a appt at the gyncologyst tomorrow and you know I dont like to make love the night before." so the husband says oka then and rolled back over and started ta go back to sleep.

a few minutes later, he awakes his wife again and says "ya dont by any chance have a dentists appt tomorrow do you?"

lol

the dog, the cat an the penis

a dog, a cat, and a penis are sittin around a camp fire one nite. teh dog says, "my life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". the cat said, "i don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." the penis outraged, says "at least your master dont put a bag over yer head and make ya do push ups until ya throw up!!" lol

alabama govt seeks to reinsate occupational tax

just say no to the alabama occupational tax

rock on !!!

alabama abc bans wine

hay, our states abc board has banned the sale of cycles gladiator brand wine. do ya know why? coz it has a picture of a nude woman on it. it aint porno or even erotic. its really a french drawing from over a hunred years ago. bastards! wat are they tryin to say? its ok to drink an drive but cant be nekkid while ya drink? the way we see it if god didnt watn us to be nude wed be born with close on. wats bad about art? ya dont know refined art when ya see it? bastards. besides,,,kids arnt supposed to be buyin wine anyways. how woud they see it even if it had a drippin open pussy on the lable? uptight bastards.

rock on and hang in there !!!

were on myspace

hay we wanted to tell ya all that were back on myspace. you can find us at myspace.com/johnny-q. its pretty plane right now coz our empasis is on this blog and facebook but just stay tuned!!! if they dont kick us off again lol


rock on !!!

the elepant and the camel

one day a elepant was walkin down the street and noticed the two humps on this camels back. he said to the camel "why are your tits on yer back?" the camel looked at him and said "thats kinda inapropreat coz you wear yer dick on yer face". lol

piss on you phillip tate

piss on you phillip tate!!! you stole our pass. wat do ya think we was keepin it for? well next time ya want ta go fishin with shamus and us, yer shit out of luck. we catch the biggest catfish an we know how ta fix em. yer loss muthafucker!! lol

and juest in case yer thinkin botu tellin our boss, take a look at tay's picture.

nobody,,,nobody messes with johnny fuckin q!!!!!!

its time to legalize weed

the government spends so much in resorses tryin to catch those who by and sell marijuana on the black market. we think those resources coud be used catchin axe murderers or osama bin ladin. we think if the damn government legaized weed and then taxed the hell out of it like thy do smokes, thered be a hell of a lot of money takein in.

the us of a spends $68 billion a year on corrections and 1/3 of those are nonviolet drug crimes. they spend $150 billion on policing and courts and 47.5% of drug arrests are mariuana related. we dont kno bout you but we think thats a hell of a lot of mony that could be used on better things. ya know?

were postin a link for a legalize marijana petition. yall sign it okay?

http://www.petitiononline.com/Legalize/petition.html

rock on !!!

porn in the 21st century

one of our biggest passtimes is porn. how we get it has changed so much in the last 20 yrs. we remember back in the 70s ya had to go pay to see it. we was too young but we remember our uncle had a film which his buddes and he would show in there basement.

in the 80s next came the vcr. it revolutionised the porn industry. we could order in the mail or go rent. that was cool. you could also go into that back room at yer local adult book store. in our neighborhood, all ya had to do was keep the machine filled with coins and clean up when you was through. lol

but today,,,we got the internet!!!!! ya have to be careful though. some of those sites sends a damn virus to yer computer. theres a lot of dangers tho. be careufl coz ya might end up watchin a damn tranny or underage. that shit aint cool and ya have somethin wrong with ya if you get off on that. but porn has hit its golden age. all ya need is a computer, fast internet, and a old tshirt or paper towels. lol

rock on !!!

our first blog

hay! were johnny q. our real name is john quentin wallace, but you can call us johnny q. we used to play guitar for the now defunct southern rock band swamp soup. we dont hold grudges tho. matter of fact, we still jam with our buddy shamus when we aint fishin. lol

our music career is on hold for the time being. were workin stiffs just like the rest uf us. we drive a milk truck. it sucks but it pays the bills ya know. but we have some contacts in nashville. we have a buddy who is in a band. we may just do some jammin with him. and we have a frend who has a hotel in nashville too. hes prolly going to set us up doin some entertainment at hsi hotel. ya never know.

but anyway, we tohught wed get us a blog so we can share our thoughts, dreams and nightmares with ya.

rock on !!!